Sage in both colour and in manner, the cafe's gently green walls had a calming effect when coupled with cute decorations and enough quirk to make Zooey Deschanel proud. Like a Disney animation, kittens and deer festooned the walls in the form of eccentric ceramics. Contrasting with the industrial chicness of the polished cement floors, and simplistic metal stools which were grouped around low wooden tables- each bearing a framed celebrity mugshot- the cafe made for an interesting conversation piece in itself.
The menu was equally eccentric, melding rough-and-ready pub grub (the so-called Lumberjack Breakfast contained enough oil to solve the Middle East's problems and more carbs than a high-endurance athlete would require in an entire career), with more far-flung flavours (spiced Persian Vegetable Fritters seemed an enticing choice). Other offerings included the Bogan Burger (a heart-stopping, Fourex-swilling combination of fried egg, cheese, BBQ sauce and smoked paprika aioli on a bun) and the more palatable Banh Mi, a traditional Vietnamese baguette containing thinly sliced pork, salad and Indochinese herbs.
My buxom brunette friend settled on the appropriately-named Spanish Matador- eggs, chorizo, tomato and manchego cheese cooked in a clay pot and served with Turkish toast- and I, a light yet punchy-sounding dish named "Finding Nemo", midori and basil-cured gravlax with a poached egg, pickled Spanish onion, capers and a dressed salad. The name was cute and I had a little chuckle as I ordered it.
The dishes arrived beautifully presented, as expected, and our lovely waitress was incredibly patient with us, displaying not a drop of impatience even though we took the length of an average geological age to decide what to select from the menu. (It was so hard with all of the yummy choices! First world problems…)
The gravlax was presented carpaccio-style, with enough classiness and swag to bowl over even the most jaded diner. "I found Nemo! He's all over my plate!" I felt the need to joke to nobody in particular. Although I'd initially had some misgivings about the combination of salmon and Midori, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the dish lacked the trademark sickly-sweetness of the melon-flavioured liqueur, with the basil subtly complimenting both.
My raven-tressed companion also thoroughly enjoyed her eggs, although they were a little undercooked for my liking. However, the runny texture made for super-fun dipping with the Turkish toast, and the Spanish eggs were seasoned so well that I could almost hear flamenco music playing in the background. We were also pleased with the range of coffee on hand, varying from Vietnamese-style iced coffee, to more traditional Italian-style espresso and everything in between.
Adding a triple-shot cappuccino, which came in a nostalgia-inducing 80s coffee cup with little ceramic gumnuts glazed onto the handle (my mum used to have a set of 3. There were 4, but my sister and I broke one by playing tennis with it), and the house specialty, an iced caramel latte, made our brunch an even more leisurely experience, and the staff didn't seem to mind our lingering over our java for hours. It was a refreshing change from the majority of brunch spots, which tend to try and clear their customers' tables even before the last drippings of hollandaise have been licked from the plate, and the remaining dregs of latte have been slurped. With mains running between $12 and $22 a piece, we were also pleased with the modest bill…
Not to mention the absence of the Evil Witch.
Hansell and Gretel Espresso and Breakfast Bar is located at:
2/281 Pickering Street Gaythorne, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia 4051
and is open 7 days from 6 til 2.
