Hansell & Gretel Espresso and Breakfast Bar

Our experience at Hansell and Gretel in the leafy Brisbane suburb of Gaythorne was like the fairytale itself, minus the evil witch. A pair of lost, hungry kids stumbling upon a veritable Mecca of deliciousness, and leaving with the obligatory happy ending. Scrumptious and delectably kitschy the cafe certainly is. Grimm (see what I did there?) it is not.

Sage in both colour and in manner, the cafe's gently green walls had a calming effect when coupled with cute decorations and enough quirk to make Zooey Deschanel proud. Like a Disney animation, kittens and deer festooned the walls in the form of eccentric ceramics. Contrasting with the industrial chicness of the polished cement floors, and simplistic metal stools which were grouped around low wooden tables- each bearing a framed celebrity mugshot- the cafe made for an interesting conversation piece in itself.

The menu was equally eccentric, melding rough-and-ready pub grub (the so-called Lumberjack Breakfast contained enough oil to solve the Middle East's problems and more carbs than a high-endurance athlete would require in an entire career), with more far-flung flavours (spiced Persian Vegetable Fritters seemed an enticing choice). Other offerings included the Bogan Burger (a heart-stopping, Fourex-swilling combination of fried egg, cheese, BBQ sauce and smoked paprika aioli on a bun) and the more palatable Banh Mi, a traditional Vietnamese baguette containing thinly sliced pork, salad and Indochinese herbs.

My buxom brunette friend settled on the appropriately-named Spanish Matador- eggs, chorizo, tomato and manchego cheese cooked in a clay pot and served with Turkish toast- and I, a light yet punchy-sounding dish named "Finding Nemo", midori and basil-cured gravlax with a poached egg, pickled Spanish onion, capers and a dressed salad. The name was cute and I had a little chuckle as I ordered it.

The dishes arrived beautifully presented, as expected, and our lovely waitress was incredibly patient with us, displaying not a drop of impatience even though we took the length of an average geological age to decide what to select from the menu. (It was so hard with all of the yummy choices! First world problems…)

The gravlax was presented carpaccio-style, with enough classiness and swag to bowl over even the most jaded diner. "I found Nemo! He's all over my plate!" I felt the need to joke to nobody in particular. Although I'd initially had some misgivings about the combination of salmon and Midori, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the dish lacked the trademark sickly-sweetness of the melon-flavioured liqueur, with the basil subtly complimenting both.

My raven-tressed companion also thoroughly enjoyed her eggs, although they were a little undercooked for my liking. However, the runny texture made for super-fun dipping with the Turkish toast, and the Spanish eggs were seasoned so well that I could almost hear flamenco music playing in the background. We were also pleased with the range of coffee on hand, varying from Vietnamese-style iced coffee, to more traditional Italian-style espresso and everything in between.

Adding a triple-shot cappuccino, which came in a nostalgia-inducing 80s coffee cup with little ceramic gumnuts glazed onto the handle (my mum used to have a set of 3. There were 4, but my sister and I broke one by playing tennis with it), and the house specialty, an iced caramel latte, made our brunch an even more leisurely experience, and the staff didn't seem to mind our lingering over our java for hours. It was a refreshing change from the majority of brunch spots, which tend to try and clear their customers' tables even before the last drippings of hollandaise have been licked from the plate, and the remaining dregs of latte have been slurped.

With mains running between $12 and $22 a piece, we were also pleased with the modest bill…
Not to mention the absence of the Evil Witch.

Hansell and Gretel Espresso and Breakfast Bar is located at:
2/281 Pickering Street Gaythorne, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia 4051
and is open 7 days from 6 til 2.

Chocolate Buffet @ the Stamford Plaza

It was like something Willy Wonka could only dream of.

When the four of us entered the Stamford Plaza's Brasserie one Sunday afternoon in anticipation of their famed high tea buffet, we were taken aback at the gluttonous sight that greeted us, for we had never seen so many sweet treats at once. There was more excess sugar than Cuba in the Soviet era.

Everywhere we looked, tables and tiered stands were piled high with all manner of sugary confections, ranging from the humble scone (albeit laced with rich butterscotch and freshly clotted cream) to more unusual offerings (thin slivers of red velvet cake with white chocolate ganache marbled with raspberry coulis, warm walnut blondies, and mini cupcakes with cachou-dotted passionfruit buttercream piped atop a moist, spongy base; to name a few).

So numerous were the offerings and so gigantic the proportions that we were certain this was no average high tea: this was a feast for the eyes and the belly, as well as a punishing task for the pancreas. My favourite treat of the day- one treat that delighted the aforementioned senses- was the red velvet cake. I'd never had it before, and was drawn in by its unusual appearance. A sponge the hue of blood with thick whirls of cream cheese icing, it cut a bizarre figure sitting between the florentines and slices of plum linzer torte. Because of the colour, I was expecting it to taste like raspberry or cherry, but my palette was instead hit with a heady punch of buttery vanilla. Unexpected but delicious!

Being a bit of a savoury girl, I was a little saddened with the lack of other nibblies available. The few hors d'oeuvres on offer- a small selection of finger sandwiches and quiches- had been shunted to the back of the room to make way for the Sizzler-style sugar buffet in the centre of the restaurant.
Perhaps there should have been a bigger selection to cater for the not-so-sweet-of-tooth?
However, I thought this was more than made up for by the gorgeous view of the Brisbane River that our patio table afforded us. On such a clear, sunny day, it was lovely to sit sipping tea and watching the ferries going by.

If you're looking for an in-and-out cake and cuppa that is quicker than a Kardashian marriage, the Stamford Plaza isn't for you. However, if you're after a long and leisurely afternoon tea in the most ambient of surroundings, I would definitely recommend it. After all, what's life without a little indulgence? :)

The Stamford Plaza Buffet High Tea is $45 per person, with tea and coffee included.
It takes place every Saturday and Sunday from 3 to 5pm.
Bookings are essential to avoid disappointment and smart-casual dress is recommended.

Green Tea in the Valley

If there are two things the Viets kick arse at, it's food and guerilla warfare. 


It was with the former in mind that four of us traipsed into Green Tea last Sunday in the hope that the food there would prove decent enough to refute its poor internet reviews. 




Set in the newly renovated Chinatown Mall, Green Tea's simplistic decor creates an immediate feeling of serenity upon entering, with its mouth-watering Asian fusion menu enough to entice even the most unadventurous eater. 


Listed were a huge variety of dishes, ranging from traditional Vietnamese fare (pho soup, caramelised pork ribs and spicy quail) to more adventurous dishes from the remainder of the continent (Japanese-style steak fillet, anyone?)


Glancing at the awesome menu, it was hard to understand how former patrons had rendered the food here "flavourless" and "awful". 
We were served promptly and as expected, the unkindly reviews rang most untrue. In fact, I remain certain that the hedonistic gods of earthly pleasures were smiling upon us as they delivered to our table some of the tastiest dishes to ever grace our palates. 


For entree, we had opted for the "make-your-own-fun rolls" and fun they certainly were! 
Comprising of silken rice papers wrapped around tender sugarcane prawns and crisp summer vegetables, a zesty dipping sauce competed the dish and provided a feisty element that tantalised our tastebuds.  
Flawlessly marrying sweet and sour, the rice paper rolls were a perfect start to the meal: not too big, not too small and so delicious I was sure they'd come with a heftier price than a meagre $13.50. 


Our next course was a fusion-style duck salad that brought East and West together in one sizeable portion. 
Thick slices of crispy-skin duck held their place atop a pile of crispy mesclun mix, julienned lotus root, tomato, cucumber, as well as crunchy, house-pickled daikon and carrot. A splattering of mint leaves and crushed roasted peanuts added an interesting textural component. The fresh ingredients made such a gorgeous rainbow of colours that the salad looked too good to eat.


The only disappointment was the pork ribs in Peking sauce which my friend had ordered. Although the ribs had been cooked to perfection, they arrived drowning in such a quantity of sauce that even a generous helping of rice did little to absorb it. The sauce also proved a little too sickly and seemed to overpower the entire dish. 


We decided to complete the meal with drinks, opting for the iced lychee tea with whole lychees and the three-coloured dessert with layers of red bean, mung bean and jelly over coconut cream and crushed ice. Both were sweet, although not overpoweringly so, and the perfect finish to a standout meal. 


I'd rate Green Tea four out of five stars, in the hope that they read this and offer me a free meal. 
If all Vietnamese food is as spectacular as the dishes at Green Tea, I'd happily walk to Ho Chi Minh City. 


Green Tea can be found at Shop 1B, 31 Duncan Street, Fortitude Valley.
Open 7 days for lunch and dinner, it's fully licensed. BYO wine.
Call (07) 3252 4855

Baking w/ Alcohol?

Last night our group of seasoned (and even a few not-so-seasoned) drinkers got together for one of our ubiquitous booze seshes. It involved copios amounts of vodka, melted cheese and the divulging of one too many secrets. But I won't go into that…

What I do want to discuss, however, is the bizarre treat that my teetotal friend, Beth, brought to the party.

Beth is a fascinating and cultured young woman, and although she doesn't drink, her adoration for Victorian-era cooking outweighs her plethora of reasons to stay sober. Because do you know what Beth lovingly baked us?

Absinthe muffins.

Now imma let you finish, because I too found myself brimming with questions at the mere mention of this. "Absinthe muffins?" I hear you say, "What the..?"

I know, I know. Crazy, right?

In addition to many other amazing culinary exploits, absinthe muffins are one of Beth's more adventurous ones. Although she's yet to introduce a recipe that my tastebuds haven't loved, her gingerly-ventured disclaimer that "you might want to eat them slowly, because each muffin has two standard drinks" did little to reassure me. I mean, come on! Absinthe muffins? TWO standard drinks? I could knock back two vodka cruisers and get drunk slower than I would if I simply chowed down on one of the tiny green-tinted muffins.

Soft as air and laced with a anise-infused sugar glaze, they were absolutely delicious, but the idea of baking liquour-flavoured goods is still rather foreign to me. However, I did manage to find a number of recipes containing various spirits.

After extensive research, it looks as if copious amounts of alcohol are a rather common theme in baking (maybe that's why Julia Childs always seeemed drunk?), so it looks like I might have to road test some recipes soon.

White Russian blackberry cheesecake, anyone?

Japanese food!

That little restaurant? You know the one.

Whether it's a kiosk in your local mall or a shopfront on the city strip, everybody knows one.

That place whose front window boasts bland-looking Westernised Japanese dishes, with their glue-glazed models. The plastic-y ramen with the chopsticks suspended in mid-air, next to the synthetic rendition of a bowl of steaming katsu-don. Between them sits a plate of oddly-perfect plate of unagi, the slices of eel immortalised in a shiny plastic glaze.

You approach the till and allow your eyes to wander along the rows of plates and bowls behind the glass. The dull light glints off the dishes' surfaces, each as freakily fake-looking as the next. You make your selection and gesture indiscriminately to no particular direction.

"That looks good. I'll have that one, please".

It doesn't look good. It looks odd and alien, embalmed on the shelf.

You don't really want to eat it.

But when it arrives, the plate's contents bely their bizarre model.

It looks amazing.

It smells even better.

You take a bite…

AWESOME!

The flavours mingle delicately on your palate, the steam rises tantalisingly off the plate.

Yeah, you know the place :)

Review- CHOCFEST @ Max Brenner

"I invite you to watch, smell, taste and feel my love story"

When I first enter Max Brenner, the Hallmark-esque phrase is the first thing that I notice.

Printed in gilt lettering, it graces the dark-chocolate wall of the chocolaterie, invoking a nostalgic, homely feel that flawlessly compliments the shop's other distinctive feature: the smell.

Wafting from a marble countertop where chefs clad in spotless white uniforms manipulate and mould the googey substance, comes the

IRRESISTIBLE,

DECADENT,

SENSUAL

PUNGENT

aroma of melted chocolate.

It fills the small shop in every form- sweet and creamy, dark and rich, bittersweet and tangy.

Chocolate is everywhere.

Tonight's feast consists of a simple set menu: no set entree, main and dessert (I mean, it's all dessert, isn't it?), but a triad of three dessert-style dishes. Yum.

The first is a small ramekin of melted chocolate. I guess it's to get our palettes used to the night's gastronomic frivolity, but it seems nice and simple.

It's nice and sweet, but after one mouthful, it seems a little TOO sweet.

A more bitter chocolate might have been a better- and less overwhelming- introduction to the meal.

STILL, it is really good chocolate. Rich and creamy, indulgent and delicious. It's truly a

mazing. It just might have been better towards the middle or end of the night.

The main, though, was really something to write home about! Two types of fondue- milk and dark, served with fresh strawberries, marshmallows, banana slices and cubes of banana bread.

Self-explanitory: it was awesome. I've never had banana bread with chocolate before, but it was delicious. As lovely as the milk chocolate was, the bittersweet dark chocolate really brought out the sweetness of the accompaniments. Dark chocolate and strawberries=my new favourite combo!

Last, but certainly not least, was the start of the night. Chocolate pizza with bananas and marshmallows. Yep, it really was as amazing as it sounds. Check it out here, under "sweet icons". Also served was the pizza with a crunch, which contains caramelised pecans and cornflakes instead of

banana and marshmallow. With this weird Javanese creation in mind, I gave it a wide berth, but those in our group who had it very much enjoyed it.

The banana pizza was to die for, though. Those of you who've had the pleasure of eating crepes with banana and Nutella (if you have been to Germany or have family over there, chances are that you have), will know how awesomely the flavours go together. Take that and add marshmallow. I know, I know. Ladies, get in line.

+ I really liked how we were served similar ingredients throughout the night (bananas, marshmallows). The dishes were tied nicely together.

- All in all, though, the night seemed a tad lacklustre after all the hype of Max Brenner that floats around Brisbane. I guess I was expecting something a little more spectacular (truffles, mousse?) after what I'd seen on the website, but, hey, it's still chocolate! And damn good stuff at that.

Max can be found at shop 1.1 and 1.2 Stanley st Plaza, South Bank QLD 4051.

Opening hours are 8am-11pm Mon-Thurs

8am-12am Fri-Sat

8am-11pm Sun

Check out their site for more contact details and their amazing menus.

Review- LR Sushi on Albert Street

As many Brisbanites who frequent the CBD will tell you, the best sushi in the entire metropolis is at LR Sushi on Adelaide Street.

Many's an afternoon that a common sight will be that of a queue so long that it stretches past the neighbouring Starbucks and has to be wrangled by waitresses breaking the starving

lunchtime mob up into manageable groups.

"Why?" I hear you ask.

Well, the honest answer is that the sushi is truly

THAT good.

Armed with a $5 bill and my trusty iPhone camera, I braved the ravenous noontime hordes to bring you my critique of the best lunch in Brizzie- and all for just $4.60 :)

If you are a sushi cynic, you may think, "all sushi is the same", but there is a fine and delicate art- a skill, if you will- required to make truly amazing sushi.

Firstly, it has to be fresh. The only thing I find more repulsive than crime-scene shots is dry, day-old sushi. Thankfully, the sushi here is prepared on site, and it looks it! If the sashimi was any fresher, it would still be in the ocean. You can virtually smell the healthfulness of the sushi seeping through the cabinet. Yum!

Secondly, there has to actually BE filling in the roll. Those skinny, pathetic-looking rolls that you see in most sushi kiosks? They pale in comparison to these babies. If those regular sushis are Kate Moss, LR sushi is Beyonce- their thicker, better cousin. The fillings here literally fill the nori to bursting point, making for a satiating lunch indeed.

Lastly, quality sushi cannot exceed the budget of the common wo/man. Otherwise, how can we all get a taste of mainland Japan for a reasonable price? The simple answer is that we cannot. And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is when anarchy is unleashed. Besides being good for our waistlines, sushi has to ALSO be kind to our wallets, right? Right. All rolls here are priced under $3, meaning that taste comes with a generous serving of value.

So, satisfied that LR fulfils these qualifications, I made my selection of two rolls- one wakame and tofu, one Japanese omelette.

The wakame and tofu roll consisted of thinly sliced red chillies and fresh wakame wrapped snugly in a seasoned tofu sheet. The diverse, flavoursome trifecta literally explodes on the palette: the richness of the tofu, the delicate saltiness of the sesame-seasoned wakame and the biting spiciness of the chillies made the roll a savoury literally to die for. Never have I had such fresh wakame.

The Japanese omelette roll contained traditional tamagoyaki, the sweet omelette unique to the orient, freshly julienned carrot, cucumber and capsicum, and an interesting, nectarous Japanese pickle (I think it contained ginger). It was by far the best sushi roll I've even had- that pickle gave the veggies an interesting, sweet element that really brought our their crisp flavours. Delicious!

In addition to the rolls I tried, other more interesting options contain chicken and peach, smoked salmon

and cream cheese, egg salad, spider crab and loads more.

LR sushi can be found on the corner of Edward and Adelaide Street (the end closest of George Street) and is open 7 days, but get in early unless you want to wait! :)